March 2010
Someone's a goddamn genius.
pennynickels:
http://luchator.tumblr.com/
Chatroulette+Luchdor Masks+El Cascabel= Awesome blog.
Love it!
DVDA - Now You’re A Man
Enjoy the Nickelback performance, winners.
(via insooutso)
A-hahahahahahaha!
Okay, Team USA, time to smile a bit.
milkglassmao:
Don’t be all sad and douchey.
Yeah! Let’s see some tee— oh, right. Well, look happy, at least.
February 2010
Congratulations, Canada
*That did not happen.
shoesonwrong:
Me: This teenager on Xbox Live asked me if I’m married.
Ryan: What did you say?
Me: That I’m a lesbian.
Ryan: Annie.
Me: The other day I told some little kid I worked for NASA. He was super impressed.
Ryan: What is wrong with you?
Me: Xbox Live is a harsh and lawless world unto itself.
Ryan: Is that why you were screaming, “TITS OR GTFO” the other day during a game?*
Me:...
Clients From Hell: Blue skies thinking →
Client: “I love what you have come up with here, but I feel what we need here is some blue skies thinking.”
Me: “(pause for effect) Can you explain what you mean?”
Client: “You know, think outside of the box, push the envelope. I just don’t think we are both singing from the same hymn sheet…
Apple admits using child labour →
yhf:
Hey, it’s not just their pricing structure that’s inhumane!
WatchOne of my favorite Chappelle’s Show sketches.
President: I’ve got 40 Nations, ready to ROLL, son!
Reporter: Like who?
President: Alright, who the fuck said that? Who? Like Who? England… Japan’s - sending Playstations. Stankonia, said they’re willing to drop Bombs over Baghdad. Afrikaa Bombataa and the Zulu Nation.
Mint Royale - Rest Your Head
I am at a party and am drunk and this close to...
covertheearth:
You assholes need to party with me more often.
This asshole needs to buy you a flip camera!
Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-442-HOPE →
(via iamnotdiddy)
“It has not been shareholders who have botched the operations of some of our...”
– Warren Buffett (via soupsoup)
CNN Newsroom Disaster Protocol
Producer1: Hey, did you hear about that earthquake in Chile? It was huge. There's like, a hundred people dead so far.
Producer2: We need to prep for this. We'll air coverage all day.
Producer1: Yeah, that's what I thought. Also? They're talking about a Tsunami. It's gonna hit everything on the Pacific Ocean.
Producer2: Good, good. That'll give us stuff to show. Get some cameras up. Who are our celebrities?
Producer1: Already on -- What, now?
Producer 2: Our celebrities? In the quake. Someone famous has to have been in Chile. Make some calls, we need to get celebrities to tell us exactly what happened.
Producer1: Oh, right. Um, ok. [Checks with the booth]. We've got some guys from NOAA that are ready to be interviewed by the talent, and we've got a geologist coming in who knows how to poke at our big TV. H-- hang on. Some guy from American Idol is there now.
Producer2: Which one? Ruben? Justin?
Producer1: No, Elliott something. He was a finalist, I guess.
Producer2: Shit. Elliott what? Do we have anybody else? Was Paula with him?
Producer1: Nobody else is calling in. Our guy is phoning talent agencies right now.
Producer2: Okay. Okay. Don't panic. We can do this. Start calling Baldwin brothers. There's enough of them that we might get lucky. Also: Find out where Sean Penn is.
Producer1: I think he might still be in Haiti or Louisiana.
Producer2: Call him. He's probably on a flight right now to Chile.
Producer1: Okay. Also, it looks like the only anchor we'll have for a while is Rick.
Producer2: Fuck me running.
Producer1: I'm also working on getting our Chile bureau in here. It's not as easy as I thought, they have like no budget. We're ordering some nice clothes from Wal-mart.
Producer2: We have Chile bureau?
Producer1: More like a chest. A shoebox, really.
Producer2: Huh.
I, for one, can't wait to hear on what Pat...
I just broke foursquare.com. Sorry.
