June 2009
Billy Mays jokes: Getting it out of my system.
There are too many to tweet, so here they are in list form:
Billy Mays’s casket will be made entirely of Mighty Putty.
Billy Mays died. Pouring a fo’ty of oxy-clean. Crap, I just bleached my carpet.
Billy Mays’s ghost is the loudest ghost ever.
Billy Mays and Michael Jackson dead at 50. Coincidence? Yeah, most likely.
They’re gonna use that gardening too thing to...
Tumblr slipped in an update to the iPhone app...
And I likes it. Good job!
Stuck. In my head. For days.
...
I'll be long-fucking-gone.
Emergency Pants Podcast says: So, last night I decide to be lazy and go through the Long John Silver's drive through
Emergency Pants Podcast says: And I get up to the window, and there is this SHORT girl at the register
Emergency Pants Podcast says: And there's another one with her, and someone is training someone and I can't figure out who. They both looked to be new
Emergency Pants Podcast says: And the one hands me my card back, and goes "How many miles that truck go to?"
Emergency Pants Podcast says: And I say, "What?"
Emergency Pants Podcast says: And she says, "On the speedometer. How many miles it go up to?"
Emergency Pants Podcast says: And I said, "120."
Emergency Pants Podcast says: She says, "Ohhh. I figured 140,145."
Emergency Pants Podcast says: AND I'M ALL WHAT THE FUCK?!
Bridget says: WHAT?
Bridget says: What?????
Emergency Pants Podcast says: So, I say, "Well, the spedometer STOPS at 120. That doesn't mean the truck does."
Emergency Pants Podcast says: And she's like, "Oh. So, you're saying it probably goes 140?"
Emergency Pants Podcast says: And then I weep, Bridget. I weep for our planet's future. Right there, in the KFC/Long John Silver's parking lot.
Emergency Pants Podcast says: THEN I think to myself, "Hey! I'll be dead by the time these kids take over."
